Week 5: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

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Week 5: Burning Questions

Happy Labor Day, y’all!

We love Labor Day. It’s a free day off of work or school and you get to spend the entire day outside. The only thing that makes it better is the fact that BIP is on. What better way to cap off the holiday in which we celebrate American workers than by watching a bunch of 20- and 30-somethings get drunk and avoid employment in Mexico? Answer: There is no better way. We’re super stoked — and filled to the brim with questions about what will go down.

Here’s what we’re pondering:

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Week 4, Part 2: The plight of Christy and What’s Her Nuts

OK, folks, we are back for Part Two of our recap!

The last time we watched this trainwreck, all of the poop was about to hit the fan. Graham had seemingly come to the realization that AshLee is a certifiable nutcase, and he walked off set just as AshLee offered him her rose.

Graham walks off set

So, let’s continue this disaster of a story, shall we?

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Week 4, Part 1: AshLee vs. Clare

If you were one of those people that chose the Emmys over BIP on Monday, we have one thing to say to you: FOR SHAME.

Seriously. If we were an old-fashioned school teacher, we would make you go sit in the corner with a dunce cap on your head.


Thankfully, we are not old-timey school teachers. We are the Bachelor Burn Book and thus, you can’t sit with us, because you missed a doozy.

But also, because we are, again, the Bachelor Burn Book, we’re going to recap Monday’s episode. It’s practically like you were watching!

Here’s what went down:
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Week 4, Part 2: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading

Week 4, Part 1: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading

Week 4: Burning Questions

We have so many questions this week. Seriously, SO MANY QUESTIONS.

In case you somehow forgot, this week is the crazy, two-episode BIP television event of the summer, which can only mean one thing … ALL OF THE THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN. There will be drama, fighting, name-calling, boyfriend-stealing and knife-wielding.

clare-the-knife-wielder

People are going to run off into the jungle without supervision. Wambulances will show up. Hearts will be broken. And all of Mexico will be burned to the ground!

We so excited.

So, even though we have like, eleventy million questions about this week’s episodes, we managed to boil it down to three, because we would be writing forever if we didn’t. And also, those are the rules. So here they are, folks:

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Week 3: Through the storms comes a rainbow

Week Three of Bachelor in Paradise is in the books, and it was absolutely wonderful.

Approximately two girls have completely lost touch with reality, at least three guys are fearing for their lives, approximately six girls are ready to go to war with each other, and 100 percent of the people on this show are crazy.

This is reality television at its finest, people. This is proof that the Bachelor gods love us and want us to be happy.

So, let’s recap all of the hilarious and stupid shenanigans that went down this week, shall we?

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Week 3: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading

Week 3: Burning Questions

Happy #BIP Monday, wonderful people!

We are two weeks in to Bachelor in Paradise, and it has most certainly lived up to the hype. This show is all of the things. It’s dramatic, hilarious, bizarre and absolutely, perfectly wonderful. We never want it to end. We want the producers to have an endless rotation of contestants coming to the BIP treehouse for all of eternity.

We feared that Week 2 would be much less entertaining than the premiere, but alas, disappointed we were not. Our fears were soon put to rest when we were treated to some bizarre Crazy Michelle K. drama, a cheesy 1980s-style reenactment and the greatest, most nonsensical speech of all time, courtesy of Elise. It was perfection.

Screen shot 2014-08-12 at 11.01.35 PM

So, we wonder, can this BIP amazingness continue? Will tonight’s episode be equally as hilarious as the first two? We freakin’ hope so! Here’s what else we’re wondering about heading into Week 3:

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