Week 1: Power Rankings

Welcome to the new-look Power Rankings! We’ve been doing the Power Rankings the exact same way since we started this blog back in 2013. This season, we’ve decided to do them a little bit differently, just to keep the spark alive, ya know?

Here’s how they’re going to work for this season: Each week (at least until the contestant numbers start to really dwindle), we’re going to do a top five list of our choosing. They’ll be themed and it’s probably gonna get weird. We’re mixing  it up this way for a lot of reasons, but also because, let’s be real, it becomes really obvious after like, two weeks who the frontrunners are. Where’s the fun in that?!

But fear not, in addition to the top five list of our choosing, we’re also going to rank the top three potential matches for JoJo. This way, you can still heckle us for being completely wrong sometimes. You Fantasy Leagues matter to us, dear readers, and don’t you ever forget it.

So that’s the new Power Rankings. We hope you enjoy them, because we suspect it’s going to be a lot of fun to write them.

Continue reading

Tweet Roundup: Week 1

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 28 contestants who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading

Preseason Power Rankings

IT’S ALMOST HERE.

Guys. We are hours away from the premiere of the Bachelorette. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS? Since March when Ben’s season ended, that’s how long.

And now, finally, it’s almost here. Our preparations can begin, and the most important part of those preparations are the preseason Power Rankings.

You know the drill. Every year, we take the preseason photos and questionnaires and rank this season’s Bachelor/Bachelorette’s potential suitors. We know nothing about them. It’s literally the most judgmental exercise we engage in all season, which is obviously why it is so much fun.

Before we begin, though, a note: the Power Rankings are going to be getting a new look this season starting next week. We’ll have more on that when the time comes, but until then, enjoy this week’s preseason judge-y extravaganza.

Continue reading

The Finale: Ben finally makes a decision

Well, guys, it’s that time.

Ben has made his choice. Chris Harrison has promised us the most dramatic finale ever, and has, once again, not delivered. This is officially the last recap of the Bachelor season.

We’re not thrilled about the handful of Bachelor-free months that await us. It’s going to be rough. But we’ll get through it together, we guess.

So dig in to this finale recap. Savor it. Let’s get to it!

Continue reading

Tweet Roundup: The Finale

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 28 contestants who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’re reading this on your phone and want to pause the slideshow, hold your finger down for a beat on the slideshow until it’s highlighted. Then click again. The pause function should pop up, which will allow you to scroll through. You can also scroll to the bottom and revert to the desktop version. You’ve got options, is what we’re saying!

Continue reading

Women Tell All: Well, at least the bloopers were good

Each season of the Bachelor can go one of three ways. Two of them make the Women Tell All pretty epic. The other makes it pretty boring.

The epic ones? When the women all hate each other or the women all hate the Bachelor, obvs. The boring ones? When everyone basically likes each other…like this year.

Listen, getting along is good. It’s grand. It just doesn’t make for good TV.

So was this Women Tell All fine? Yeah. It was just fine. Was it stop-the-presses-awesome? Nah. But that’s OK, because there’s still plenty to talk about. Let’s gooooooooooo:

Continue reading

Tweet Roundup: Women Tell All

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 28 contestants who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’re reading this on your phone and want to pause the slideshow, hold your finger down for a beat on the slideshow until it’s highlighted. Then click again. The pause function should pop up, which will allow you to scroll through. You can also scroll to the bottom and revert to the desktop version. You’ve got options, is what we’re saying!

Continue reading

Week 9: Power Rankings

Y’all, we just want to tell you something … you guys are so fetch and we love you.

We love tweeting with you every Monday. We love when you send us funny tweets. We love when you tweet us Mean Girls quotes. And we love all you wonderful people who read our Power Rankings every week! We love everybody!

What’s with all this love, you ask? Well, with how many people Ben said “I love you” to this week, we figured you guys probably felt a little left out. I mean, Ben just loves everybody, everywhere, all the time—so we just wanted to take this chance to say, “Love ya!”

And now that we’re on the topic of love, let’s talk about how Ben told everyone in the world he loves them, shall we? To the rankings!

Continue reading

Week 9: Ben isn’t THAT unloveable

Weird things happen on Leap Day.

And the Bachelor was not immune to this. Ben told TWO WOMEN that he loved them. TWO. In other words, he took a perfectly normal Bachelor season and turned it into a big ole mess.

Was it smart? Of course not. Are we thrilled about it and the drama that is now on the horizon? ABSOLUTELY. Let’s review.

Continue reading