Week 4: Power Rankings

For this week’s Bachelor in Paradise intro, we aren’t going to talk about Bachelor in Paradise at all. Why? Because there is bigger news to share here, people! Namely, BEN H. IS THE NEXT BACHELOR AND OH MY GOD WE JUST PASSED OUT FROM EXCITEMENT.

I mean, just LOOK at that face. Look at it!

ben-higgins

There are literally no words to adequately convey how excited we are, so naturally, we will do what we do best when we’re overly excited—communicate in GIFs:

We are dead. Dead on the floor. We literally cannot function.

So, before we ACTUALLY die or lose all ability to put words into sentences, let’s get back to talking about BIP. To the rankings!

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Week 4: As the crow flies

This week was a busy one for the BIP cast.

JJ became an American hero. Clare retired. Chris Harrison actually had to do extra work.

That’s a lot to pack into three hours. And on top of that, they announced the new Bachelor.

What a week, is what we’re saying. We’re exhausted. You’re exhausted. Lord knows Chris Harrison is exhausted. Let’s recap:

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Week 4, Part 2: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

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Week 4, Part 1: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Sunday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

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Week 3: Power Rankings

We’ve been feeling particularly rebellious lately, so guess what—we’ve decided we’re not writing an intro again!

We’re sorry. We hope you’ll forgive us. And we promise the intros will return next week, when we’re feeling slightly less wild and crazy.

So let’s get to the part you all came for—the rankings!

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Week 3: Please stop talking

We’re halfway there, y’all.

Halfway through this BIP season. Relationships have been formed. Relationships have crumbled. Some people are forming better relationships with the animals than they have with the other contestants.

This first half of BIP has been good. And it’s poised to get even better. But before we can move forward, we must look back. The recap:

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Week 3, Part 2: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading

Week 3, Part 1: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Sunday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading

Week 2: Power Rankings

Jambo!

We’ve decided that we are not writing an intro for Power Rankings this week because there are like, eleventy million people to rank on this show, and we’ve got more important things to discuss, like why JJ is so obsessed with Joshua. So instead, we have decided to leave the BIP intro here in place of our regular intro. You’re welcome.

On to the rankings!

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