Tweet Roundup: Week 4

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelorette-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 26 contestants who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

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Week 3: Power Rankings

ABC, don’t you EVER do this to us again.

Skipping a week of the Bachelorette is just unacceptable. It’s un-American. It’s literally the second-worst idea anyone has ever had in regards to this franchise, besides canceling Bachelor Pad.

We missed it. In fact, we spent last Monday night like this..

…and this.

And although people tried to comfort us…

…It just wasn’t enough.

We take this whole Bachelorette thing really seriously. We MISSED these guys. That brings us to this week’s Top Five list. Here are the guys we want to invite to sit with us for the rest of the week, complete with their own set of Plastics-style rules, because we miss them and literally do not know what to do with ourselves without them:

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Week 3: Don’t poke the ChadBear

Seriously. Obey the title of this post. Don’t do it.

We, and the rest of the guys in the house, found this out the hard way this week. Did anyone get punched in the face? Of course not. ABC got us again. But that doesn’t mean this two-night event wasn’t pretty awesome.

Here’s the recap:

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Tweet Roundup: Week 3

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelorette-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 26 contestants who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

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Week 2: Power Rankings

Ah, the late 1990s/early 2000s. Some people might be remember them for the Y2K Scare. We remember the Boy Band Battles. There was a proliferation of handsome gentlemen singing in harmony and performing choreographed dance routines and we did not hate it

This week’s Bachelorette brought back some memories, particularly when James Taylor gathered his boys for a little songwriting and choreographing session.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? These guys are basically marionettes, with JoJo pulling the strings.

Naturally, this week’s Power Rankings top five list is going to be boy-band themed. It just fits —the most complete boy bands include five people. Otherwise, you’re just a glorified quartet (lookin’ at you, 98 Degrees). And it includes like, one talented person and four other goofballs hoping to parlay the experience in other careers. It’s meant to be!

Also, don’t forget: In the new Power Rankings, the top three picks for JoJo heading into Monday and the poor (or perhaps, lucky) souls that got sent home this week are at the bottom!

Without further ado, here’s our Bachelorette Boy Band:

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Week 2: ChadNation

Guys, remember last week when we saw the season promo for this Bachelorette season and began to anxiously anticipate Chad threatening to smack somebody?

Well, it didn’t take too long to get there. We’re here. Chad’s stuffin’ meats in his mouth and threatening to rearrange someone’s teeth. Before next week’s two-night extravaganza, let’s examine Chad’s assent into being Public Enemy No. 1:

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Tweet Roundup: Week 2

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelorette-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 26 contestants who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading

Week 1: Power Rankings

Welcome to the new-look Power Rankings! We’ve been doing the Power Rankings the exact same way since we started this blog back in 2013. This season, we’ve decided to do them a little bit differently, just to keep the spark alive, ya know?

Here’s how they’re going to work for this season: Each week (at least until the contestant numbers start to really dwindle), we’re going to do a top five list of our choosing. They’ll be themed and it’s probably gonna get weird. We’re mixing  it up this way for a lot of reasons, but also because, let’s be real, it becomes really obvious after like, two weeks who the frontrunners are. Where’s the fun in that?!

But fear not, in addition to the top five list of our choosing, we’re also going to rank the top three potential matches for JoJo. This way, you can still heckle us for being completely wrong sometimes. You Fantasy Leagues matter to us, dear readers, and don’t you ever forget it.

So that’s the new Power Rankings. We hope you enjoy them, because we suspect it’s going to be a lot of fun to write them.

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