Do you all remember Emily Maynard’s season of The Bachelorette a few years ago?
Of course you do. It was literally one of the greatest seasons of this show on record. There was so much drama-starting, pot-stirring and smack-talking—and one weirdo even attempted to take Emily vampire-hunting. It was excellent.
But more important than all of that is the fact that Emily’s crop of guys were SO freaking hot. Like, we just could not even deal. She had Arie (which, oh my god), Bukowski (who may be a total skeeze, but he’s a hot skeeze), Jef, Doug Clerget, John Wolfner, Ryan Bowers (who was kind of douche-y, but still hot), and the hottest guy to ever walk the face of this earth—Sean Lowe. And then there were like, at least a dozen other hot guys whose names we cannot remember. Like the guy who kept asking Emily if she was going to eat her qui-no-a. He was hot too.
So, we can hear you asking, “Bachelor Burn Book, we like reminiscing about hot guys, but why are you taking us on this irrelevant trip down memory lane?”
We’re glad you asked. You see, the reason we’re doing this is because, since Emily’s season, we have been CRUELLY DEPRIVED of hot guys. With the exception of like, Drew Kenney and Marcus Grodd and a few others, there has been a serious lack of super hot Bachelorette contestants. Which is pretty much unacceptable. Because we want a SEA of them. All the time.
But right now, we are praising the Bachelor gods above, because this season, our wish has been granted. This year’s contestants are pretty freaking hot. I mean, we don’t know if anything can ever top Emily’s season, but we definitely had to take a few minutes to gather ourselves after
drooling over seeing this season’s crop of guys.
And of course, as is tradition here at Bachelor Burn Book, we have read through all of their bios, superficially judged them and ranked them for our Preseason Power Rankings. Which is always lots of fun. So, without further ado, let the superficial judging commence! Yay!