The Finale: Breakups, breakups and more breakups

Well, guys, this is the end … season one of BIP is in the books.

But it was a pretty good book, if we do say so ourselves. And the best part is that it’ll be back! There’s going to be another chapter in this weirdly entertaining book! There’s going to be a season two!

This is how we felt when we found out this crazy show got renewed:

We could hardly contain our excitement. But first, we must officially close the chapter on season one with our customary recap. So let us get started, shall we?

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The Finale: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

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The Finale: Burning Questions

Well, folks, this is it … the conclusion of BIP is upon us.

We don’t know about you, but we’re feeling 22 we’re really sad to see BIP go. I mean, it was pretty much the greatest thing ever, amiright? Don’t get us wrong—we’ll always have a special place in our hearts for Bachelor Pad, but BIP was all kinds of awesome. There were skeezy guys, crazy obsessive girls (ahem, AshLee), stupid fights, drunken hookups, panic attacks in the jungle, raccoon therapists and an ill-advised jump from a 25-foot balcony.

Screen shot 2014-08-12 at 10.58.33 PM

You can’t make that stuff up, people. This debacle of a show was true entertainment at its finest.

But while the ending of BIP is rapidly approaching, let us not despair just yet, for we have one more episode to go. Hooray! And according to Chris Harrison, everything is about to change. So obvs, we have like, a million questions. We break down our top three below (because all one million would just take too much time):

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Week 5: Breakup fails

The end is near.

Not the end-end. Just the end of BIP. After last week’s two-night extravaganza, we were down to just two more weeks of drunken debauchery heading into Monday. After all, BIP eventually must move aside and let Dancing with the Stars get going…sans Clare, of course.

Thankfully, we have one more episode before the BIP Treehouse closes for business until (hopefully) next summer. And of course, we still have this week’s recap to get through. All is not lost!

Anyways, here’s what happened on BIP’s penultimate episode:
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Week 5: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

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Week 5: Burning Questions

Happy Labor Day, y’all!

We love Labor Day. It’s a free day off of work or school and you get to spend the entire day outside. The only thing that makes it better is the fact that BIP is on. What better way to cap off the holiday in which we celebrate American workers than by watching a bunch of 20- and 30-somethings get drunk and avoid employment in Mexico? Answer: There is no better way. We’re super stoked — and filled to the brim with questions about what will go down.

Here’s what we’re pondering:

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Week 4, Part 2: The plight of Christy and What’s Her Nuts

OK, folks, we are back for Part Two of our recap!

The last time we watched this trainwreck, all of the poop was about to hit the fan. Graham had seemingly come to the realization that AshLee is a certifiable nutcase, and he walked off set just as AshLee offered him her rose.

Graham walks off set

So, let’s continue this disaster of a story, shall we?

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Week 4, Part 1: AshLee vs. Clare

If you were one of those people that chose the Emmys over BIP on Monday, we have one thing to say to you: FOR SHAME.

Seriously. If we were an old-fashioned school teacher, we would make you go sit in the corner with a dunce cap on your head.


Thankfully, we are not old-timey school teachers. We are the Bachelor Burn Book and thus, you can’t sit with us, because you missed a doozy.

But also, because we are, again, the Bachelor Burn Book, we’re going to recap Monday’s episode. It’s practically like you were watching!

Here’s what went down:
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Week 4, Part 2: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading

Week 4, Part 1: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor in Paradise session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the crazies who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

Continue reading